How to avoid being the customer everyone hates

Dear friends,

Today comes a lesson to you all. This lesson I teach you with words of wisdom from 6 years of working retail. Follow these simple steps to avoid being the customer that anyone in the world of customer service hates.

Step 1.
When we say, "Hi, how are you doing?" DO not ignore us. We're not asking for a novel back or anything, we're just looking for a "Good thanks, and you?" Even if you don't mean it. Pretend you do. Come on people. Do not be the person that will look us directly back in the eye and then look back down at the ever-delicious-looking pastry case that I PREPARED for you this morning. Rude.

Step 2.
If you are on the phone.. you are CLEARLY not ready to place your order. Would I take your order while I'm chatting on my cell phone? Nope. Because that would be considered preposterous - yet I'm supposed to figure out when you're talking to me or talking to the other person who is giving you some lame excuse as to why they can't meet you for coffee that day after all.. probably because you're a jerk face who won't get off your phone. HOWEVER, there is one excuse in this situation. You get big time brownie points if you go through the phone/place order scenario - but then come back at a later time and apologize. You will then be forgiven.

Step 3.
Do not complain about the prices. Such a simple step, one would think. However, to some of us - it is not. I have to tell you all, and to some of you it may be like telling a child about Santa Claus, but... WE.DO.NOT.MAKE.THE.PRICES. We only stand there and whip up these magical drinks that you order. I do not sit around on a Monday morning and think.. hmm.. how much do I wanna charge these suckers for their morning latte? Nope. That doesn't happen. So when you complain to us, that's why we have the face "Yep.. haven't heard this before" or the "I just work here" face.



Step 4.
Do not get frustrated with the assortment of questions we ask you at the registers. We are told to do this. We do not have the option if we feel that you look extra busy compared to the other hundreds of business men that walk into my shop everyday. Do not sigh. Do not "humph". Just simply answer the questions with a yes or no and we can all move on with our day.



Step 5.
Money. As we all know, there are many ways to pay with money. Cash, credit, debit, gift cards.. and so on and so on. Some not valuable options:
-Throwing money on the counter
-Putting money on the counter when I'm holding my hand out... you can put your 4 dollars in change in my hand, thanks.
-Walking away without paying and thinking we won't notice. We do.
-Tapping your credit card on the counter while I get your 1000 calorie carrot cake Mr. Track suit and protein powder drinker.
-My tip jar. Contrary to popular belief my tip jar is not sitting there to assist you in the payment of your large drink and food item. I have no idea how some people fail to see this.

Step 6.
The final step I will address to you all today... Never. EVER. Say to someone working in customer service - "You must be new here." Why? Because we can't read your mind? Nope. This is NEVER ok to say. It is offensive and rude for you to assume that because you make up whatever drink you want, not on the menu of course, and we try our best to create it and it's not perfect - chances are that does not mean that person is new. Don't even try to say it. You can think it, but never my friends, say it.

I feel better, don't you?
I hope you take this lesson to heart, lets make the world of customer service a happier place :) One friendly customer at a time.

Until next time,

J